Human trafficking

Human trafficking.

Human.

Trafficking.

Those are words I've heard from time to time but they just seemed like some far away issue.  I'm ashamed to admit that I never really gave those two words much thought.

Until this trip.

Human trafficking touched me in a way I never thought I would.

I loved on a child I later learned was the victim of trafficking.

I don't know the whole story but this sweet little boy was bought and sold.  Like an object.  A material possession.  

I believe he's 4-5 years old.  He loved performing in the traditional Chinese play.

He's a playful, impish little boy.  He is no different than my son was at that age.

He loved the beach balls and playing outside in the courtyard.

He sometimes got a little antsy in his seat, which makes little boys such lovable little boys. :)

He was a terrific art partner!

But he can't be adopted.

Because he is a victim of human trafficking.

He has parents out there somewhere.  I would imagine his parents long for this little boy to be returned home to them.  I know I would.

So because of human trafficking, this sweet, adorable little boy with the hauntingly sad eyes will live out his life in an orphanage.  He will lack the education to go on to college and obtain a decent job in China.  He will be relegated to a manual laborer job with no family to support him.  That's a hard, lonely life.

His picture now hangs in my house, next to those of my children.  On that picture of our art (see above), there is the Chinese saying "May you be blessed with a life of peace."  That has become my prayer for Homeboy.  That despite his chaotic and seemingly unbelievable fate, that he will know a life of peace.

The next time you hear the words HUMAN TRAFFICKING, I urge you to see the face of the little boy we nicknamed HOMEBOY and pray that he may experience a life of peace.  Human trafficking is real and has devastating consequences.

The Baby Rooms

While visiting the welfare house, we were free to take pictures just about everywhere but the baby rooms.  As an adoptive mom, the baby room was one room I yearned to see.  Because I know others will also want to know more about the baby rooms, I'd like to try and explain them.

Our twice daily feedings (we were there for lunch and dinner feedings) occurred in the baby rooms.  Bowls of porridge (?) were brought around to each room, one for each child residing in the room.  The lunch porridge consisted of a rice like mixture with eggs.  The dinner porridge was very similar but was green in color and included bits of meat.  I fed Lovey and she made it very clear she liked the egg and meat pieces the best.

We initially had a chaperone in the room with us.  Presumably to help us translate but I think they were there to keep an eye on us as well.  I felt honored that by the end of the week, I was allowed to do feeding time all by myself....just my big old American self and the Chinese speaking nannies.  Smiles go a long way in communicating!

Our chaperone was a staff member (higher than a nanny but lower than the assistant director) named Candy.  She was determined to learn how to say my name, which is quite difficult for native Chinese speakers.  She seemed to enjoy practicing her English with us.

One funny story about feeding.  On the first day I was feeding Lovey, Lovey said something in Chinese to Candy.  Apparently Lovey wanted soy sauce in her porridge!  The nannies kept a bottle and often added it to her meal, which I found endearing.

I did take these pictures on the first day.  I wish I would have stood at the gate and taken a picture of the full compound, but I didn't think of it while I was there.

This is the side that spent the most time in.  The baby feeding room I was assigned to was on the 2nd floor and the baby room Lara and Miranda were assigned to was on the 3rd floor.  This is in the area on the right side of the building.  They multi-purpose room where we did our painting, wonton making and our final tea ceremony is in the the area that appears to adjoin the two buildings.

This is the middle section of the compound.  The canteen is housed on the first floor and therapy rooms for the children are housed right above it.

The rest of the compound houses elderly.  We never saw any of the elderly.  I don't know if the elderly here are disabled or not.  And, we didn't think to ask as we were so focused on the children.  The director is in charge of the whole facility.

This gate protects the compound.  And, sadly, I suspect is the finding location for many children.

I did take a picture of the hallway.  You can see rooms on each side with metal gates at each room.  That is to keep the children in, although Lovey certain knew how to open that gate. :)  There are also larger doors that can be shut for privacy and quiet.  If you look carefully, you can see Rosemary on the left, Miranda on the right and a child returning to his/her room from therapy in a wheelchair.

These carts were all the place.  Children were often transported in them.  In our room, they were also used for feeding.  Although since Lovey was much older, she just sat on a chair.  I actually have pictures of Elise at her orphanage in one of these strollers.  

We did sneak in this one picture.  This child was on AWAA's list so we were allowed to take the picture.  All the rooms had metal cribs like this.  They all appeared to be stainless steel, not painted, and all in good condition.

My room had an assortment of cribs.  I saw different babies in the room each time but I believe 7-9 babies live in the room.  It has windows all along one side of the room so it gets lots of natural sunlight.  The windows overlook the courtyard so I imagine sounds of children playing float up into the room.

Some cribs were kept closer to the nanny station.  In those cribs were the babies who appeared to need the most attention.  Sweet Baby Girl was often in one of those cribs, as was a baby who had recent cleft surgery.  Often babies were in the farther section of the room but that section seemed to be reserved for sleeping babies.  The babies all appeared to rotate and never appeared to have simply been left in a crib.

The cribs.  Oh my!  The beds in China are HARD.  So hard you think they forgot to put a mattress on the bed.  I seriously think I have bruises on my hips from sleeping on my side on my hard hotel room.

The crib mattress...a board.  That surprised me.  But, while we Americans like our soft fluffy beds, Chinese prefer a harder surface.  It's just a fact.  So, the "mattress" makes perfect sense given the culture.  And also explains why some of the babies' head appear to be flat.

Because it was hotter and more humid than any weather I've experienced recently, there were very few sheets on the bed.  Each room has an air conditioning unit but those are often set at higher temperatures than we would find comfortable.  While our team was sweating buckets, the heat didn't seem to bother anyone else.  I think they get used to it.

Back to the room.  In our baby room, there was a separate room with a bed and some personal items of the nanny (this is where she stashed the soy sauce).  We were told the nannies alternated every 24 hours but the same nannies were in the room each day I was there.  So, I might have misunderstood or perhaps other arrangements were made while we were visiting.

The room also has a wash room.  I so wish I could have taken pictures of this little inner sanctum!  The nannies use this room to wash the babies but it also contains a neat little row of starter squatty potties!  Little toilet training seats over a squatty.  It was strangely adorable!  We were shocked at first to see babies in buckets, but it was actually quite ingenious.  The nannies put a pot in the bottom of the bucket and then rested the babies inside so they could go.  No baby was every tied to a potty or left there too long.  The babies in the buckets actually looked quite comfortable, it was just shocking since it's not a sight we'd seen in the US.  

The walls were all brightly decorated and included pictures of babies that had been adopted and pictures of foreigners from a previous trip.  I'm not sure if they were from one of the previous ACT trips or from another organization.

Each child had a laminated card that had their picture, name, DOB and date they had arrived at the welfare house.  I so wish I read Chinese to know what else it said.  The cards were displayed in pockets by the door.  Lovey was quite proud to show me her card.

The one thing glaringly missing from my room were toys.  I didn't see any.  There were storage lockers along one way in the corner and it's possible toys were stored there.  But, when feeding time ended and we were allowed to play with the kids, we basically just walked around the room, sang, danced, and made do with only our imagination.

I'm sure we've all seen the footage from the expose in the 90's that painted Chinese orphanages in an unflattering light.  True, they are nothing like our children's rooms, but they are bright and cheery.  The nannies clearly cared deeply for the kids and did the best they could to care for those in their rooms.

"No Hope"

Let me start by saying I'm having a really hard time adjusting back to "normal" life.  I'm struggling with jet lag.  I feel sleepy, dazed, nauseous, congested, dizzy and just generally out of it.  I'm an "in control" type of person so I really, really dislike how I feel right now.

Added to the physical woes I'm feeling, my heart is still in China.  Thoughts keep running through my head.

I should be making a menu for the next 2 weeks and coming up with a grocery list to feed my family.

But I just keep thinking of the kids I met.

I should be addressing the stack of bills and important papers that arrived in the 2 weeks I was away from home.

But I just keep thinking of the kids still in China.

I should be focused on getting my kids ready for the upcoming school year.

But I just keep thinking of the kids who have aged out and are not longer adoptable but will live out their life thinking they aren't worthy of a loving family.

Friends, this trip has changed me.  I keep hoping I can get back to "normal" but truthfully, I'm not sure what my new "normal" will be just yet.

I am signed up for another trip next year with my daughter and several friends/family members.  That is helping me keep a focus on the kids in China.  We'll meet a new group next year at a new welfare house.  We'll spend the next year fundraising for that trip.  But then what?  

The thought that is running through my head this morning that I want to share is the question we asked on the final day.  We were told at the beginning of our visit that there were 180 kids in this facility.  But we only interacted with or saw about 30 kids.  At our final lunch, we asked about the other kids.  

We were told they live on the 4th floor.  We were told there was "no hope" for these children.

No hope.  

Those two words break my heart.  These are CHILDREN.

The children on the 4th floor are not mobile.  Every child we interacted with was able to get around by themselves.  We did see a very small number (3?) of children in wheelchairs but they had arm strength and could crawl.  

We were told these children live "birth to death" on this 4th floor.  If they are still alive at age 35, they are moved to an elder care faculty.

Please understand that I'm not being critical of the staff.  Having seen how they care for the children we saw, I trust the children on the 4th floor are cared for in the same manner.

But the reality is all of these children are being cared for by paid caregivers.  Not parents.  None of these children have experienced the ongoing, unconditional love of a parent.  

Please understand that I'm also not criticizing the parents who chose to give up their children.  As an adoptive mom, I've struggled with a range of emotions towards my daughter's birthparents.  I've settled on sadness.  I'm so sad for these parents who felt they had no option but to give up the opportunity to raise these amazing children.  Having given birth to a child, I can't imagine the pain and grief of realizing you do not have the resources to care for the child you have carried for 9 months.  For most of the children in this welfare house, the medical cost to care for these children in China is far greater than most can afford.  

We also asked how many children are adopted out from this facility.  We were told about 15 a year.

15.

Only 15 out of 180 each year will find their forever families and experience the love of a family.  The rest continue to grow older...until they age out.  New kids arrive each year.

15.

I presume that all of the children we met have files prepared for them but I'm not sure.  The two girls that I fell in love with do have files although the staff indicated they are working on them.  

There seems to be a standard of what is considered adoptable and what is not.

Friends, these are CHILDREN.  All children deserve the love of a family, regardless of a standard created by mere humans.  

Truthfully, I struggle with the larger issue of WHY these children are in this situation.  It just seems so sad and unfair.  The God I love and worship is a loving God...why does He allow for this situation to occur?  

Please join me in praying for the children with "no hope" and the staff that cares for them.  Pray that their hearts remain soft and loving towards these children with "no hope" and pray that these children feel washed in His love.  

My teammates Lara and Miranda have also blogged about this issue.  Please visit Lara's blog and Miranda's blog to read their thoughts.

Meet Rosemary

I'd like you to meet another sweet princess.  This is Rosemary and she's on the AWAA Waiting Children list!

She has a giant hairy nevus, which is a little shocking to see at first.  If you can look past that, you'll see a beautiful and healthy little girl.

She's over a year old, walks and appears to be developmentally on target (for kiddos who have lived their life to this point in an institution).  She has buddies that she plays with in the Angel room.

I got close to a smile.  She reminds me so much of Elise in that she burst into tears the first time she saw me.  She warmed up a bit during our time together.

She has a special bond with this nurse.  Rosemary wears a jade anklet that was given to her by this nurse.

I did a little internet research and found these sites on hairy nevus.

This family elected to not remove it and their daughter is beautiful:  http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2013/11/20/special-need-highlight-focus-on-congenital-nevus/

This story talks about a family that did opt to remove the birthmark:  http://www.newson6.com/story/13847585/oklahoma-family-changes-life-of-adoptive-daughter

And this is a discussion board but if you search for hairy nevus you will find an entry from 1LUCKYMOM that describes her daughter's surgery:  http://chinaadopttalk.com/2011/03/17/special-needs-discussion-%E2%80%93-craniofacial-other-than-cleft-to-include-issues-with-hearing-and-eyesight/

Friends, this is an external issue.  There are no cognitive or major developmental or other health concerns with this princess.  She needs to grow up in a home with a family who loves her.

Please feel free to share Rosemary's story!

Update on Beautiful Boy (aka Caleb) and introduction to Logan

I wrote about Beautiful Boy last week and you can read it here.

We had a confusing time finding out which children were on the America World Adoption (AWAA).  We didn't think Beautiful Boy was on the list.

Imagine my excitement when I learned he is ALREADY ON THE WAITING CHILD LIST FOR AWAA, which means he is paper ready and just waiting for a family.

You can go to the waiting child area at http://www.awaa.org/wc/default.aspx and request a password.

Beautiful Boy is known as Caleb on the waiting child list.

The pictures on that site are quite old and the video must have been taken before his surgery as he walks much more easily now.

I do have a video of him that shows his scars but I can't post it publicly because it also includes his Chinese name (the assistant director was helping me learn how to say it).

Here are a few more pictures I took of him.  He made wontons with us one day.

 And painted with us another day.

It was hard to know who would show up for each activity and I felt really grateful that Beautiful Boy joined us for so many.  His behavior for each one was very appropriate and he has such a sweet disposition.  

And while you are in checking out Beautiful Boy's profile, jump over to his buddy Logan's profile.  I haven't written much about Logan yet but he also joined us quite a bit as well.  He is a quiet boy and has some developmental delays/hydrocephalus.

Again, feel free to share with friends who may have an interest in these boys.

Update on Lovey and Sweet Baby Girl

You might remember Lovey, who I wrote about here, and Sweet Baby Girl, who I wrote about here.

I have the girls' Chinese names and birthdates to help us identify their Chinese adoption files.  Neither girl has a file yet prepared but the assistant director hopes to have the files completed by the end of August.

I did get to spend more time with Sweet Baby Girl in the Angel room again and took this picture which more clearly shows her hands.  She is 8 months old and look at how tiny she is!  (Granted, I have ginormous feet, but she is really tiny!)

Friends, she is BEAUTIFUL and her hand deformity is NOTHING that can't be dealt with in the United States.  If she stays in China, she will likely live out her life in an institution.  Health care costs and stigma are just too great in China for this sweetie.

Lovely was the last child I loved on during my time at the welfare house.  I didn't get any additional pictures because that time was spent in the baby room, which was off limits for pictures.  At first, they had me to go a different room for baby feeding time but I specifically asked to go back to Lovey's room so I could see her.  She came in and immediately reached for a big hug.  Once we finished her meal, we played and I whispered in her ear how much God loves her and how hard I'm going to try and find a family for her.

The director wrote out the girls' names and information for me, both in Chinese and English.  She was so surprised that a US family might be interested in these girls, especially Sweet Baby Girl.

Please feel free to share their stories and pray that a family is led to adopt one of these precious princesses.

Trip preparation - what to pack!

We're home and I'm struggling mightily with jet lag.  I still have so much I want to write about our trip, but I'm worried my fuzzy brain will not allow me to express my words correctly.  So, I'll write a post on what worked for me.  This is especially geared towards anyone considering going on a trip like this.  And, I hope to refer back to this when I'm packing for next year's trip!

Our team leader sent us all matching ribbon for our checked and carry on bags. We've done this for family trips but it was a GREAT idea for team travel.  While waiting for our luggage, we could easily spot items belonging to team members.

Lots of tissue packs.  We were lucky and never ended up using a squatty potty in China but this was the first trip I didn't have to use one.  Toilet paper rolls in the hotel are skimpy so extra tissue all around is a nice thing to have.  I brought too much but will just put the extra aside for next year's trip.

A good carry on backpack.  My brother-in-law travels frequently and recommended this Swiss Gear model.  It has a padded area for laptop/ipad and lots of separate compartments.  The compartments made it nice to organize, especially for going through security.  I kept everything that needed to be pulled out in one compartment and it eliminated the need to dig around.

Pack your shoes in grocery bags (and I put these in an outer packet of my suitcase).  Floors are gross.  People spit everywhere and if you end up having to use a squatty potty, your shoes are sure to be gross by the end of your trip.  Another tip, every hotel will give you a pair of slippers.  WEAR THEM.  The floors in your hotel room are also gross.

Lots of separate containers for organizing.  These are my trusty Clinique freebie bags.  I grouped like items together (morning supplies, evening supplies, etc.)

Some form of vitamin C.  I used EmergenC but others in our group used Airborne.  I packed enough for 2 daily just to be safe.  I ended up using at least one a day, usually first thing in the morning, and I had enough to share with others in group who were not feeling well.  I swear by this stuff and load up on it whenever I feel under the weather.

A mailing tube that fits inside your suitcase.  I stuffed this full of gifts on the way there and used it to hold some artwork I bought.  Some artwork will come rolled and in a box already but the painting I bought did not.  This helped protect it on the journey home.  

Lots of organizing bags.  You can use plastic ziplok bags as well.  I bought these mesh travel cubes for our adoption trip and they work great!  You will be living out of your luggage and having a way to organize the contents will help eliminate some stress (at least it did for me).

In one bag, I put food items.  I brought granola bars (KIND bars), peanuts, some sweets (life savers), some flavor packs for water (didn't end up using many of these).  Other team members brought peanut butter and instant oatmeal.  We had heard the food was a bit rough where were going but it ended up not being a concern and I didn't eat much of what I brought.  But it was nice to have this as an option.

My other cube held medicine type items.  One tip I learned from our adoption trip was to cut out the front/back of the box of meds and put those, along with the meds, into a sandwich baggie.  That eliminates some of the bulk.  I took Z-quill, dayquil, anti-diarrhea, motion sickness, ibuprofen and acetaminophen.  I also took some band aids and antibacterial cream, hand sanitizer and an extra set of contacts.  I picked up a small bottle of fabreeze, just in case.  This turned out to be a huge help.  Smoking is allowed in the hotels and the smell will end up in your room.  I'm really sensitive to the smell and was able to spray down my room and found it helped.

Cords for everything you might need and a battery charger for your camera.  I can't tell you how many times I've forgotten my battery charger on vacations.

A luggage scale.  I didn't intend to carry this with me the whole trip but it did come in handy.  I'd recommend each team have at least one.  Luggage for international flights is limited to 50 pounds, I believe.  Luggage for domestic flights within China is limited to 44 pounds so that's the limit I tried to stay under.  Keep in mind you bring a ton of gifts for the orphanage staff so it's really hard to stay under that weight but you end up with lots of extra space for the return trip.

A TSA approved luggage lock.  A tip someone gave me was to lock up all my valuables in my suitcase and lock it whenever I left the room.  I've used this tip for laptops and other electronic devices that I've wanted to leave in the room and it worked well.

A cross body purse.  If you do an ACT trip, you will do some sightseeing at popular locations when you first arrive in the country.  This is to help acclimate you to the time zone and help form a bond with the team members.  Pick pocketing is a big problem at these locations having your valuables close to you (I often just rested my hand on my purse for additional safety) is important.

A money bag for your money and passport.  I carried money and my passport on me for the flight to China.  I ended up leaving my passport and money in my purse, which I stuck in my backpack and carried it all with me to the orphanage each day.  We did not have a room safe so I wanted it with me.  Other team members carried these bags on them at all times, but my backpack was never out of view and my money/passport was really buried in there.  Might not be the best course of action in every orphanage but it worked for me on this visit.

On the return flight home, I stuck my passport in an outer pocket of my backpack, which I placed right above my seat.  At one point during the flight home, I decided to fill out the US customs form and managed to drop my passport on the floor of a completely dark plane.  Not smart!  Fortunately someone saw me do it and helped me find it.  Not easily done without waking up everyone around me. :/  And, for US citizens, you complete the same information on a kiosk when you re-enter the US and there is no need to fill out the paper form.

Wet wipes.  Lots of them.  You don't always have an opportunity to wash your hands as often as you'd like, or before meals, so this will help you clean up a bit.

No Jet Lag.  I was soooo hopeful this would work but it does not appear to be doing anything.  Day 2 of being home and I seriously feel hit by a bus.  These have already been trashed and we won't bother bringing them next year.

Chinese yuan.  You can convert it at your hotel but it was nice having some money when we hit the ground in China.  My boss had spent 4 weeks in China right before our trip so I was able to buy some money from her.  I've also just put this leftover money aside for next year's trip. You can exchange US money to Chinese yuan at your local bank (call ahead).

I have some other suggestions but I'll save those for another post. 

Final day

I'm really struggling to put my thoughts of today into words.  There is a part of me that just doesn't want to write this post because I simply don't want this experience to be over.  I don't want to step back into a world where kids living in institutions without parents is OK.  

So I will leave you with a few pictures taken between sobs today.  I did manage to hold my tears around the kids.  I did not want them to see any sadness, only happiness that we got to spend more time with them.

Here is the group that attended our final meeting.  So many of our favorite kids were missing from this activity.  

My painting partner from the other day presented me with our painting framed and a picture of him.  There is such a sad story behind this boy but I will save it for another day.  

And one more...this boy just lit up around us.  He is such a sweet kind hearted young man.

When we headed to lunch with the officials, we noticed the older boys watching for us from their second floor room.  We waved back and forth and headed in to lunch.  When we finished lunch and loaded into the van to leave, we noticed those boys still at their window watching for us.  We all managed to wave out the windows of the van.

And then the tears flowed.

Please pray for these children.  Pray a family will see past the scary diagnosis and see the beautiful souls in these children.  They all deserve a family but live in a world that tells them otherwise. 

Please pray for the next teams that visit this welfare house.  There are teams scheduled in the fall and next summer.  I pray all the children we loved on will not be there because they've been adopted.  But many of the same children will be there.  

Please also pray for our team as we travel home to our families and life.  I know we have all been deeply affected by this trip and are not sure exactly how to step back in to "normal" life.

Day 4 recap

Today was our last full day at the welfare house.  It was bittersweet.  We don't know what children, if any, we will see tomorrow.  It will be hard to say goodbye when we are leaving a good chunk of our heart here.

We started the day by helping the older children make wontons.

Lara and Miranda in their cute aprons and gloved hands!

The nannies showed us how to fold the wontons and we got to work.  The kids were so focused and proud of their work.  I loved working side by side with them!

This boy has been one of the quieter boys but he stayed close by us today. 

We made mountains of wontons!

The kids LOVED eating them....as did we!  For the kids, it was their lunch, for us it was a mid morning snack.

After wontons, it was baby feeding time.  I joined Lara and Miranda in their room this time.  I missed seeing my babies but enjoyed meeting some new babies.  One baby in that room was jus gorgeous.  Her special need is that she was a premie and has a birthmark on her leg.  Unfortunately we are not allowed to take pictures in the baby rooms and I never saw her at any other point.

After lunch and the much loved rest period, we spent time in the Angel room again.  I was thrilled to find Sweet Baby Girl there!  I tried to get a picture of her hands.  

This doll has been matched with an American family.  He is a charmer and they are one lucky family to be getting this handsome guy!

This little girl did not cry when she saw me today as she's done every day so far!

In fact, she was brave enough to come over and PLAY with me today!  Both of these sweet girls have been matched as well.

This sweetheart still hasn't given me a smile but didn't cry and let me okay with her....as long as her twin was nearby! 

That's it for now.  Lots of individual stories to still tell.