2015 Team Member Introduction - Elise

In June 2015 I will be leading a team back to China for another ACT missions trip.  I'm thrilled to be going back and so excited about the team members who have already signed up....it is an AMAZING group of individuals!  Our team in 2014 was tiny (but mighty) and I'm excited to see how a larger team can serve the parentless children of China.

The first introduction is my own daughter, Elise.  Truthfully, I did the trip this summer to see what these trips were about about and to see if she'd be able to handle going on a trip herself.  When we adopted Elise, we were not able to visit her orphanage.  It has since closed so even when we go back to China as a family to visit, we will not have the opportunity to see where she lived for the her first year of life.  I thought these trips would help give me a glimpse into what that was like for her.  The trip this summer turned into so much more than that simple mission to find out more.

Let me introduce Elise!

Tell us about yourself:  

I'm adopted from China and I'm 12 years old.


Why did you sign up for this trip?

Technically, I didn't, my mom did.  I wanted to see what it would be like if I stayed in the orphanage.


What are you most looking forward to on this trip?

Spending time with the kids and going to China.


Favorite bible verse or story:

The story of Esther.


(Yup, she's a tween of many words....)

Stay tuned for introductions of our team members.  We do still have room for 4 more on our team to travel to China.  We have room for LOTS more on our team supporting us in encouragement, prayer and financial support.  I invite you to join our team....in whatever manner works for you.  

Find out more about the trips at:  http://www.awaa.org/ACT/trips/China(LocationTBD)/default.aspx

Caleb

I've written about Caleb (aka Beautiful Boy) a few times already (here and here).  To recap, let me show you his beautiful face again.

Caleb's file is ready and with the America World Adoption Agency and he's ready for a family to pick him.   

Caleb would need a family looking for a slightly older child.  He's almost 11 years old and will "age out" at 14.  He is such a sweet, sweet kid with a great sense of humor.

So why am I writing about Caleb again?  I simply can't get him off my mind.  I'd bring him home in a heartbeat....if my husband didn't feel our family is complete now. :(

The majority of the kids at this welfare house had some sort of special need.  Many of those special needs were fairly obvious; Downs, CP, cleft lip/palate.  But I couldn't figure out Caleb's special need.  

Turns out he has Cerebral Palsy.  Apparently he had very tight muscles in his legs and had difficulty walking.  Several years ago he had surgery to lengthen those muscles and how walks with hardly any abnormalities in gait.  What that tells me is that this kid is a fighter and has overcome some remarkable hurdles set before him.  Now, we need to help him overcome that hurdle to find a family.  

So...here's my challenge to you.   Please share this post and pray that someone will look at his face (either here or on the waiting child list) and see their son. 

I'm really not into how many people read this blog but I want to show you the power of sharing.  My post on Rosemary was viewed over 1200 times...and she now has a family and has come off the waiting child list. The post on Tiny Tim was viewed over 400 times and his file is not yet ready for review.  The posts on Sweet Baby Girl and Lovey Girl, neither of who have a file yet, were viewed by over 300 people.  Sharing works!!!

And here is what makes this so very personal for me.  My own 12 year old daughter, adopted from China, was recently referred to a pediatric neurologist to be tested for CP.  Ironically, instead of panicking in our pediatrician's office, I felt this calm peace and saw Caleb's face in my mind.   We won't know for sure on our daughter until later this fall, but it's possible we've been living with CP in our family and never realized it.  If the diagnosis turns out to be CP, it doesn't change who she is, what she's capable of or her potential.  It just answers some questions but doesn't define her. 

Please don't let the CP label define Caleb.  Look past that scary label and see the sweet little boy who stole my heart....long before he stole my sunglasses. :)  

(P.S....I "borrowed"/stole pictures from my teammates that I felt captured his amazing funny spirit.)

Tiny Tim

 We've been home three weeks now and my mind still lingers on "my kids" back in China.  We haven't shared Tiny Tim's story with you yet but I want to introduce you to him.  

Is he not handsome?!?  Look at those wisps of baby soft hair!  Look at that tiny nose!

He was in our feeding room and very wary of strangers.  Unfortunately for Jason, he wasn't too keen on being fed by a stranger.  We were told his disability was a blood disease.  He's about 12-16 months old but he's sooo tiny for his age.

In addition to seeing him in the feeding room, we got to spend time with him in the Angel room.  He stayed pretty close to the nannies.  (This nanny in particular had such a caring gentle nature with the kids....here she is with a lap full of kiddos!)

We did learn more about his blood disorder towards the end of our visit.  He has Mediterranean anemia, also known as Thalassemia.  

Thalassemia is an inherited blood disorder that may result in the need for regular transfusions. Here is some information that explains the urgency of adopting children with this disorder:
http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2013/11/02/waiting-child-spotlight-focus-on-thalassemia/

A quote from that blog: "The life expectancy for these children if they remain institutionalized is very grim."

From what I understand, this condition is fairly manageable in the US.

Tiny Tim's file has not yet been prepared but it is being finalized. There are others like him waiting to be adopted. Adopting a special needs child is not for everyone but perhaps this sweet face sparks an interest in someone to learn more about this opportunity.

Uncomfortable privilege

I've been slowly returning to "normal" life.  The bug that I brought back with me is slowly leaving my body and I've been catching up on sleep.  I returned to work last week and, with that, will soon be back to our familiar routine.  This week of recovering from jet lag/nasty bug while just relaxing with my family has been heavenly.  It has also been a good week of reflection.

One aspect of the trip that made me a bit uncomfortable was the feeling of privilege.  Before the trip, a good friend suggested the ladies leave our diamond engagement rings at home.  I've never left this ring home before and certainly felt comfortable wearing it in China.  It never occurred to me take it off and leave it at home. 

In hindsight, I'm glad I left it home.  

My fairly modest engagement ring would have been another uncomfortable reminder of the privileged life we lead compared to those we were serving in China.

I've studied white privilege in the past and don't have any answers, other than we all need to have an awareness that it existed.  I realize life for my white son will be a bit easier than life for my Asian daughter, just simply because of preconceived notions Americans still hold about race.  Confronting it and educating about it are tools to help eradicate it in the future.  But it is still alive and well today.

This played out for me in the food we ate while at the welfare house.  We were warned that the food was rough.  We were told from previous groups that they ate the same food feed to the workers.  We were prepared to have the same meal over and over.  

That wasn't the case.  The food was AMAZING.  The city we were in was on the coast of the China Sea and seafood was fresh daily.  Truly some of the best food I've eaten in my life.  

(Excuse me while I go on a food tangent....)

Noodles with squid and shrimp.  (Yes, I ate squid and LOVED it!)

This was the welfare house "restaurant" we ate in for every lunch and dinner.  It was a far cry from a restaurant we were familiar with but we ate well.  There were 4 tables set up and we'd be the only ones eating in this air conditioned room.

Here is the spread from just one meal. 

The assistant director of the welfare house was always with us but we were often joined by the director of the welfare house and the director of the children's facility within the welfare house. 

This is the director of the children's facility who was very into Chinese medicine.  One evening, she arranged for her Chinese medicine mentor to visit us in our hotel.  This gentlemen had studied mechanical engineering and had a PhD from Carnegie Mellon.  He gave us Chinese medicine gifts, showed us some relaxation techniques and provided me with a small bit of Chinese medicine to treat a patch of psoriasis that I've had all my life.  

Did I mention the seafood?  Yes, you had to rip off the head with the beady eyes looking at you and then remove the shell....but you were rewarded with the most scrumptious shrimp meat!

And these....THESE!!!  These were some type of green tea biscuit with purple sweet potato inside.  I would LOVE to be able to replicate thee at home.  I've had serious cravings for these since being home.  I've texted pictures to Chinese friends in the area to see if they have any idea where I could find them in St. Louis.  No luck. :(

 So...you might be wondering where I'm going with this post.  I started talking about privilege and then moved to food.  Let's get back on track....

Well, because we'd been told that groups ate what the staff ate, I originally assumed that was the case with our group.

I mentioned to Candy (my feeding room chaperone) how good the food was.  She told me she didn't think we were eating the same food.

We weren't.

I started to notice the food plates of the staff.  It consisted of a metal plate, a heap of rice, some cooked vegetable and usually a full fish (head, tail, scales and all).

While we ate in the air conditioned "restaurant" the staff ate in this more industrialized canteen.  No one seemed unhappy and we heard lots of laughter from the folks eating their lunch together.

But it still left me feeling uncomfortable that we were eating such amazing meals, prepared for by their chef, while they ate food we'd find difficult to eat every day of our trip.  (Part of our trip expenses pay for meals so I do hope they made some money off the delicious meals they fed us and were able to put that extra money to good use.)

What do we do with this?!?  We owe it to others to do SOMETHING.  That something may look very different from me to you.  My heart is clearly in China but yours might be somewhere else.  Doesn't matter....make a difference.  Use your privilege to make a difference.  Maybe travelling to a foreign country isn't your cup of tea (teehee...food reference!) but maybe there is something local you can do to help those in need.  Maybe your heart is overseas but you don't think you could make that type of trip.  Then support someone else is who is going to the area of the world that interests you.  

As much as we complain about our lack of money, the reality is that WE (middle class Americans) are wealthier than the majority of the world's population.  So, let's DO SOMETHING to change the world for the better.

And now a shameless plug....if this blog has piqued your interest at all, I invite you to check out the future ACT teams at http://www.awaa.org/ACT/trips.aspx.  It was truly a life changing experience.  I'll be going back in June 2015 and we're recruiting team members.  (Seriously, the fundraising was the scariest part but in hindsight, that was one of the easiest things about this entire trip.)

Under Review!!!!

On a whim, I glanced through the waiting children list at AWAA today.  I was specifically checking "my" kids" to see if they were still listed.

I about screamed when I noticed that one of the files had a new status.  UNDER REVIEW was placed under "Rosemary's" name!  Woohoo!!!!  I wish I could reach through the computer and tell whoever is reviewing her what a sweet little girl she is!  Her birthmark does not define the amazing little girl that I met.

Our church service this past weekend was on letting God lead.  Sometimes it's not clear why we are being led down certain paths but if He is calling, our response is to go.

I've struggled with the WHY of this trip for some time.  We don't feel called to adopt again.  (OK, I'd bring a few back in a heartbeat but my husband says no.)  So, I've struggled with WHY and focused my energies on telling the stories of what we experienced and the kids we met.

You might remember my post on Rosemary.  That post was viewed by 278 individual people.  I seriously don't think I have 278 friends!  For some reason, that post was shared.  A lot!  (Thank you to everyone who shared her sweet face.)  That post was shared more so than some of my other posts.

Who knows....maybe someone who viewed that post from a friend of a friend might be reviewing her file.  Maybe someone who never saw my post is reviewing her file and maybe I can pass along some of the many pictures I have of that sweet little girl to her future parents.

So while it breaks my heart to not be bringing any of these kiddos to my house, I can continue to tell their stories.

My team leader has done a GREAT job of telling the stories of some other "paper ready" kids.  Please meet these darlings:

Priscilla 
(click on her name to read Lara's post)

Charlie

(click on his name to read Lara's post)

James

(click on his name to read Lara's post)

And here are a few that I've shared who turned out to be paper ready:

Caleb

(click on his name to read my post)

(aka Beautiful Boy...this is the boy I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to bring home)

Logan

(click on his name to read my post)

So, please keep sharing and we will keep telling their stories.  Maybe....just maybe...someone will see these stories and a spark will occur.

I look forward to the day when I see UNDER REVIEW by every single one of the kiddos above.  And it will be a glorious day when my one of "my kids" goes home to their forever family.

Human trafficking

Human trafficking.

Human.

Trafficking.

Those are words I've heard from time to time but they just seemed like some far away issue.  I'm ashamed to admit that I never really gave those two words much thought.

Until this trip.

Human trafficking touched me in a way I never thought I would.

I loved on a child I later learned was the victim of trafficking.

I don't know the whole story but this sweet little boy was bought and sold.  Like an object.  A material possession.  

I believe he's 4-5 years old.  He loved performing in the traditional Chinese play.

He's a playful, impish little boy.  He is no different than my son was at that age.

He loved the beach balls and playing outside in the courtyard.

He sometimes got a little antsy in his seat, which makes little boys such lovable little boys. :)

He was a terrific art partner!

But he can't be adopted.

Because he is a victim of human trafficking.

He has parents out there somewhere.  I would imagine his parents long for this little boy to be returned home to them.  I know I would.

So because of human trafficking, this sweet, adorable little boy with the hauntingly sad eyes will live out his life in an orphanage.  He will lack the education to go on to college and obtain a decent job in China.  He will be relegated to a manual laborer job with no family to support him.  That's a hard, lonely life.

His picture now hangs in my house, next to those of my children.  On that picture of our art (see above), there is the Chinese saying "May you be blessed with a life of peace."  That has become my prayer for Homeboy.  That despite his chaotic and seemingly unbelievable fate, that he will know a life of peace.

The next time you hear the words HUMAN TRAFFICKING, I urge you to see the face of the little boy we nicknamed HOMEBOY and pray that he may experience a life of peace.  Human trafficking is real and has devastating consequences.

The Baby Rooms

While visiting the welfare house, we were free to take pictures just about everywhere but the baby rooms.  As an adoptive mom, the baby room was one room I yearned to see.  Because I know others will also want to know more about the baby rooms, I'd like to try and explain them.

Our twice daily feedings (we were there for lunch and dinner feedings) occurred in the baby rooms.  Bowls of porridge (?) were brought around to each room, one for each child residing in the room.  The lunch porridge consisted of a rice like mixture with eggs.  The dinner porridge was very similar but was green in color and included bits of meat.  I fed Lovey and she made it very clear she liked the egg and meat pieces the best.

We initially had a chaperone in the room with us.  Presumably to help us translate but I think they were there to keep an eye on us as well.  I felt honored that by the end of the week, I was allowed to do feeding time all by myself....just my big old American self and the Chinese speaking nannies.  Smiles go a long way in communicating!

Our chaperone was a staff member (higher than a nanny but lower than the assistant director) named Candy.  She was determined to learn how to say my name, which is quite difficult for native Chinese speakers.  She seemed to enjoy practicing her English with us.

One funny story about feeding.  On the first day I was feeding Lovey, Lovey said something in Chinese to Candy.  Apparently Lovey wanted soy sauce in her porridge!  The nannies kept a bottle and often added it to her meal, which I found endearing.

I did take these pictures on the first day.  I wish I would have stood at the gate and taken a picture of the full compound, but I didn't think of it while I was there.

This is the side that spent the most time in.  The baby feeding room I was assigned to was on the 2nd floor and the baby room Lara and Miranda were assigned to was on the 3rd floor.  This is in the area on the right side of the building.  They multi-purpose room where we did our painting, wonton making and our final tea ceremony is in the the area that appears to adjoin the two buildings.

This is the middle section of the compound.  The canteen is housed on the first floor and therapy rooms for the children are housed right above it.

The rest of the compound houses elderly.  We never saw any of the elderly.  I don't know if the elderly here are disabled or not.  And, we didn't think to ask as we were so focused on the children.  The director is in charge of the whole facility.

This gate protects the compound.  And, sadly, I suspect is the finding location for many children.

I did take a picture of the hallway.  You can see rooms on each side with metal gates at each room.  That is to keep the children in, although Lovey certain knew how to open that gate. :)  There are also larger doors that can be shut for privacy and quiet.  If you look carefully, you can see Rosemary on the left, Miranda on the right and a child returning to his/her room from therapy in a wheelchair.

These carts were all the place.  Children were often transported in them.  In our room, they were also used for feeding.  Although since Lovey was much older, she just sat on a chair.  I actually have pictures of Elise at her orphanage in one of these strollers.  

We did sneak in this one picture.  This child was on AWAA's list so we were allowed to take the picture.  All the rooms had metal cribs like this.  They all appeared to be stainless steel, not painted, and all in good condition.

My room had an assortment of cribs.  I saw different babies in the room each time but I believe 7-9 babies live in the room.  It has windows all along one side of the room so it gets lots of natural sunlight.  The windows overlook the courtyard so I imagine sounds of children playing float up into the room.

Some cribs were kept closer to the nanny station.  In those cribs were the babies who appeared to need the most attention.  Sweet Baby Girl was often in one of those cribs, as was a baby who had recent cleft surgery.  Often babies were in the farther section of the room but that section seemed to be reserved for sleeping babies.  The babies all appeared to rotate and never appeared to have simply been left in a crib.

The cribs.  Oh my!  The beds in China are HARD.  So hard you think they forgot to put a mattress on the bed.  I seriously think I have bruises on my hips from sleeping on my side on my hard hotel room.

The crib mattress...a board.  That surprised me.  But, while we Americans like our soft fluffy beds, Chinese prefer a harder surface.  It's just a fact.  So, the "mattress" makes perfect sense given the culture.  And also explains why some of the babies' head appear to be flat.

Because it was hotter and more humid than any weather I've experienced recently, there were very few sheets on the bed.  Each room has an air conditioning unit but those are often set at higher temperatures than we would find comfortable.  While our team was sweating buckets, the heat didn't seem to bother anyone else.  I think they get used to it.

Back to the room.  In our baby room, there was a separate room with a bed and some personal items of the nanny (this is where she stashed the soy sauce).  We were told the nannies alternated every 24 hours but the same nannies were in the room each day I was there.  So, I might have misunderstood or perhaps other arrangements were made while we were visiting.

The room also has a wash room.  I so wish I could have taken pictures of this little inner sanctum!  The nannies use this room to wash the babies but it also contains a neat little row of starter squatty potties!  Little toilet training seats over a squatty.  It was strangely adorable!  We were shocked at first to see babies in buckets, but it was actually quite ingenious.  The nannies put a pot in the bottom of the bucket and then rested the babies inside so they could go.  No baby was every tied to a potty or left there too long.  The babies in the buckets actually looked quite comfortable, it was just shocking since it's not a sight we'd seen in the US.  

The walls were all brightly decorated and included pictures of babies that had been adopted and pictures of foreigners from a previous trip.  I'm not sure if they were from one of the previous ACT trips or from another organization.

Each child had a laminated card that had their picture, name, DOB and date they had arrived at the welfare house.  I so wish I read Chinese to know what else it said.  The cards were displayed in pockets by the door.  Lovey was quite proud to show me her card.

The one thing glaringly missing from my room were toys.  I didn't see any.  There were storage lockers along one way in the corner and it's possible toys were stored there.  But, when feeding time ended and we were allowed to play with the kids, we basically just walked around the room, sang, danced, and made do with only our imagination.

I'm sure we've all seen the footage from the expose in the 90's that painted Chinese orphanages in an unflattering light.  True, they are nothing like our children's rooms, but they are bright and cheery.  The nannies clearly cared deeply for the kids and did the best they could to care for those in their rooms.